I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
