I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
