Swine flu is the new snow day.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
