i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
