Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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