her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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