He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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