so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize