She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
