is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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