this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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