Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
