I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
