i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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