He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
