During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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