Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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