Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
