The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
