You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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