I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
