So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
