Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
