I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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