ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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