all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
