I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
