Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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