I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
