I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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