no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
