AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
