Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
