It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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