Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
