tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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