i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
