this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
