when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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