Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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