Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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