I didn't shave. On purpose
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize