I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
