I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
