He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
