Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
