I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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