dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
