so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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