I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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