my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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