whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
