you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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