He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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