Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
