dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
