idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
