I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize