She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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